My Journey Through Infertility Pt. 4, IVF Results

This is the final part in a series about my journey with infertility.

***Disclaimer: I'm getting down and dirty with my journey of infertility and the process involved. I will be using anatomical terms, sex and bodily fluids in my descriptions. Basically I want to paint as real of a picture as I can. If it's not something you think you can handle, I suggest you stop reading now.***

I left off saying that I was given instructions that I would have to be on bed rest for the next 3 days. Their definition of bed rest meant, no more than 1 flights of stairs per day, and less than 15 minutes of walking around per day. This was really hard for me. I'm a stir crazy person, so 3 days without moving...torture. After the 3 days, starts the dreaded 2 week wait. In 2 weeks time I would be able to take a pregnancy test to see if it worked. I had to wait to weeks because pregnancy test are actually testing for hCG in the blood, and since I had given myself the shot before the ER it could produce a false positive if I took it earlier than that. During those 2 weeks, I swear I was feeling funny in my abdomen and I swore I was more tired and thirsty than normal. I had built all of this up so much that I was certain it has worked and I was pregnant.

I got the okay to start running again during the 2 week wait I was told to run very slowly because they didn't want me to "shake things up" down there. 2 days before I was scheduled to go in for my pregnancy test, I started bleeding. I was so completely devastated! That whole time I convinced myself it had worked, that I was one of the 37% of women who got pregnant the first time. I was so upset that day, I went out on a 6 mile run with a friend, and I gave it all I had. I ran like I was racing, I just kept telling myself there was no point to slow down, it didn't work anyway. By the end of the run I was gasping for air and ready to burst into tears. When I got home, I told Max the news that I had started my period and I lost it. I started crying uncontrollably. I thought it had worked, what was wrong with me? I felt bad because Max was trying to console me, but I was inconsolable. I cried myself to sleep that night.

The next day I continued to mope around, but I was no longer crying. I went to work with the happiest face I could muster and somehow made it through the day. When I got home, it occurred to me that I hadn't bled at all that day (which is rare for me as my first 3 days of my period are very heavy). I had told a co-worker that the IVF didn't work because I started to bleed and that meant my period was starting. She mentioned that it could be implantation bleeding. I Googled implantation bleeding and I tried to keep my hopes down this time. I didn't want to fool myself into thinking the IVF worked. Even though I still had to wait until the next day to take the blood pregnancy test, I went out and bought a pregnancy test. I took it got a big fat positive (BFP). As excited as I was, I still was wary that the hCG from the shot could still be floating around in there.

The blood pregnancy test I took the next day was a 2 part series. The first, a baseline test, would test the level of hCG in my blood and then I would go back in in 3 days and take another test and they would compare the levels of my first test, to my second test. If the second test showed a higher amount of hCG in my blood, the test was positive. The day I took the second blood pregnancy test, I got the call from my doctor, that I was in fact pregnant. I cannot even begin to explain the joy, relief and fear that set in. I was so happy to be one of the 37% that got pregnant on their very first try. I was excited that I was finally going to get to become a mother, and I was also terrified that I was going to become a mother.

Since I got the BFP I continued running and exercising. My doctor said exercise wouldn't cause an automatic miscarriage. I have definitely taken it a lot easier since I found out though...just in case.

If you missed it, you can read the previous parts in the series by clicking the links below.

Part 1, Clomid and Ultrasounds
Part 2, Intrauterine Insemination (IUI)
Part 3, In Vitro Fertilization

My Journey Through Infertility Pt. 3, In Vitro Fertilization (IVF)

***Disclaimer: I'm getting down and dirty with my journey of infertility and the process involved. I will be using anatomical terms, sex and bodily fluids in my descriptions. Basically I want to paint as real of a picture as I can. If it's not something you think you can handle, I suggest you stop reading now.***

This is the 3rd part in a series about my journey with infertility. If you missed it, here is part 1 and part 2.

I left off with taking a pregnancy test and it showing as negative, we were left with a few options after that point. Adoption, going back to trying au naturale, doing a laparoscopy procedure to see if I had endometriosis, or in vitro fertilization (IVF). My husband and I were seriously considering all options. I'd always thought that I may have had endometriosis as I have nearly every symptom. Dr. F told us that if we went the laparoscopy path, that if any endometrial growth was found, it would be removed and there was a likely chance it would grow back. We decided against this option because what if I had endometriosis and they removed them, then while we were trying to conceive they grew back and we'd be right back in the same boat we are now minus $10,000.

Around this time we were still looking in to adoption. In all honesty, I'd always wanted to adopt because I was adopted myself and I think of where I would have ended up were it not for a family of my own. However, with the application process, home studies and the hefty $40,000 fee for a private adoption we were hesitant. We briefly considered foster-to-adopt, but were afraid of losing a child we'd fallen in love with.

We went back in and spoke with the doctor about IVF (colloquially known as artificial insemination). We went over costs, the procedure, and the odds of conceiving. The actual procedure of IVF itself was around $9,500 and medication that would need to be taken prior to would range from $3,000 to $6,000. Then there was an egg storage fee of $995 and an embryo transfer fee of about $3,000. If you are not a human calculator, that equates to $22,495 and there was a 37% chance of conceiving a child on the first go (at this specific facility). The doctor said that on average it takes around 3 times of IVF treatments to conceive and bear a child. If it really took us 3 times, than we were looking at a total cost of $67,485 (keep in mind, our insurance did not cover any of this, we would have to pay all out of pocket). The doctor told us we could finance the cost, but my husband and I didn't like the idea of taking our baby out on loan. Adoption was starting to sound like a good option as we would be guaranteed a child with the $40,000.

After a lot of discussion back and forth, Max and I finally decided to give IVF a try, but one round only. If that didn't work, adoption it was. Max's dad kindly gave us $10,000 towards the procedure. We found out for me, the cost of meds would be around $3,000. I had to sit with an IVF nurse coordinator who went over the entire procedure in depth. In short, I would start off with an ultrasound after my last period. Then I was given instructions about the medication I was to take. I would have to inject Lupron (a drug that basically stops your menstrual cycle and more importantly it stops ovulation, this way any eggs can fully develop and the doctor could control when they are released.) into my abdomen 2 times a day, once in the morning, and then again at night for the first 2 weeks. After that, I would start injecting both Gonal-F (a follicle stimulating hormone to promote ovaries to mature multiple eggs rather than just one) and the absolute worst injection ever, Menopur (helps eggs to mature). I lovingly referred to Menopur as liquid fire. That's what it felt like going in, it burned sooooo bad. So, all in all, I was injecting my self 4 times per day throughout the process.

When I first started the IVF process, I was right in the middle of training for the San Francisco Half Marathon and was told by the doctors, when I start the IVF treatments, I wouldn't be allowed to exercise. I begged and pleaded with my doctors if there was anyway I could still run the half. They agreed and said absolutely no exercise after July 31, 2016. I had a doctors appointment the Monday following the race and found out I had about 11 fully mature eggs I was carrying around and they decided it was time to start the egg retrieval process. I had to give myself one more injection, an hCG shot to trigger ovulation.

The egg retrieval (ER) process is a very vulnerable experience. I was completely out, under anesthesia, with my legs in stirrups and my husband was not allowed to be in the room during the procedure. I'd done my online research prior to the ER and a lot of women said when they woke up, they looked about 4 months pregnant because of all the bloating. A lot of women also talked about extreme pain immediately after. When I woke up from the procedure my belly looked normal. Yes, I was slightly sore, but nothing like what I had read. As the days went on, I did get a little more sore and a little more bloated, but again, nothing extreme. They were able to get 9 eggs from me.

During the next 5 days, the doctor combined the eggs he had taken from me and my husbands sperm and allowed them to fertilize and grow in a petri dish. After 5 days, I went back in to have 1 embryo transferred (Max and I were able to decide how many we wanted implanted at one time we went with one). They told us that they were able to fertilize 7 of the 9 eggs (the rest would go into storage for future use). During this procedure I was kept awake but given Valium to help me relax. I gotta say, me on Valium is pretty trippy. Everything felt like it was happening in a dream and not real life. Anyway, there were able to transfer the one fertilized egg directly to my uterus and I was told I would be on bed rest (they called them "princess days") for the next 3 days, then after that, I would be able to take a blood pregnancy test in 2 weeks.

I will leave off here as it's a good stopping point. My final post in the series will be how I felt during the 2 week wait and the results, which have already been spoiled multiple times by me :).

My Journey Through Infertility Pt.2, Intrauterine insemination (IUI)

***Disclaimer: I'm getting down and dirty with my journey of infertility and the process involved. I will be using anatomical terms, sex and bodily fluids in my descriptions. Basically I want to paint as real of a picture as I can. If it's not something you think you can handle, I suggest you stop reading now.***

This is the 2^nd of a 3 part series discussing my journey with infertility. If you want to read the first part, you can find it here. For this part I'm going to be talking about Intrauterine insemination (IUI) also known as artificial insemination.

Once we realized that the Clomid was working, but not resulting in a pregnancy, our doctor sat down with us to discuss the next steps. He gave us 4 different options, continue on Clomid with ultrasound monitoring, have a laparoscopy performed to see if I had endometriosis (I mentioned earlier to him that I seemed to have all of the symptoms), do a procedure called IUI, move to in vitro fertilization (IVF), or do nothing and try on our own. He told us the most cost effective step was to move onto IUI, so that is what we chose to do. As a side note, I do want to clarify the cost of the "cost effective" IUI. Again, I have medical insurance, but it does not cover infertility treatments so we were paying completely out of pocket. The cost of the ultrasounds where still $250 a pop but now, each time I went in for the actual IUI procedure it was cost an additional $750.

With IUI, I had to continue taking the Clomid and go to the doctors office for 2 ultrasounds, the main difference being, that now my husband had to supply what they referred to as a "sample". This sample was taken and cleaned to remove any dead or slow swimmers. On my second ultrasound, I would lie down, feet in stirrups and the doctor would physically take my husbands semen and directly place it past my cervix. The reason for doing this is sometimes sperm is unable to travel through the cervix to the uterus because of weak swimmers or perhaps the shape of a women's tubes aren't conducive for easy swimming, etc. By placing the sperm directly in the uterus, it bypasses any reasons they might not have made it there on their own.

Here's a fun diagram for everyone.

Doctor F suggested we do this procedure up to 3 times, if it doesn't work after 3 times, then it will likely not work period. This process was a little more awkward than the previous treatment. Instead of a female nurse practitioner dimming the lights, quickly inserting the trans-vaginal probe and covering me back up while she looked at the screen, I had my doctor pull up a chair and pop a squat right in front of me and all my exposed glory. He would then work on getting the sperm to where it needed to be while making small talk with me. The entire process from me assuming the position on the table to the doctor taking off his gloves was about 5 minutes. The procedure itself was a little uncomfortable. I felt slight cramping each time and would bleed a little afterwards.

After 3 tries at IUI, we were still unsuccessful in actually making a baby. It's kind of crazy, I convinced myself that this procedure would work. The first procedure with the Clomid and ultrasounds only were to make sure I was ovulating. I know I didn't have any tube blockage thanks to the dye test I'd done earlier. This procedure was putting the sperm right where it needed to be, it had to work. When it didn't, I again felt like a failure. After the last failed pregnancy test, my doctor brought us in immediately to talk about what to do next. Again, we were presented with the same exact options, although my husband and I were considering a 5th option at this point, adoption.

Stay tuned for the last and final in my series about infertility...

My Journey Through Infertility Pt.1, Clomid and ultrasound

***Disclaimer: I'm getting down and dirty with my journey of infertility and the process involved. I will be using anatomical terms, sex and bodily fluids in my descriptions. Basically I want to paint as real of a picture as I can. If it's not something you think you can handle, I suggest you stop reading now.***

This is the first of a series of posts about my journey with infertility. I was thinking I could cover it all in 3 parts.

My husband and I have been trying to conceive since July of 2012 (about 4 years). At this point we had been married for just over 2 years. Now when I say "trying", I simply mean we stopped using all preventative measures. Fast forward to about October 2014. It had been over 2 years, and no baby. In all honesty, I didn't think much of it. As a health major, I new there was a very small window of the perfect time to get pregnant and I just assumed we were missing that perfect window each time. It wasn't until I read an article that said

In a study of 346 women:
38 percent were pregnant after 1 month.
68 percent were pregnant after 3 months.
81 percent were pregnant after 6 months.
92 percent were pregnant after 12 months.
In their conclusion, the researchers wrote, “Most couples conceive within six cycles with timed intercourse.” After a year of trying without conceiving, experts say you should see a fertility specialist.

We took the articles advice and decided to talk to my gyno about what could be done. The first test I was given was a test called a hysterosalpingogram. During the hysterosalpingogram dye was injected into my uterine cavity through the vagina and cervix. My uterine cavity fills with dye and if the fallopian tubes are open, dye fills the tubes (which gave me a super crampy feeling) and spills into the abdominal cavity. This shows whether my fallopian tubes are open or blocked. The radiologist administering the test said that a lot of time after getting this test done, women get pregnant because the dye pushing through the tubes clears out things that could have been partially blocking.

The test came back saying I did not have blocked fallopian tubes and the magic dye didn't seem to magically cure me. After that test, my husband got his little swimmers checked and all was good with him. My gyno referred me to see a specialist (Dr. Foulk). After meeting with Dr. Foulk he decided to start me on a pill called Clomid. They explained the cost and what the procedure would be. At the beginning of my cycle I would go in for an ultrasound. Mind you, this isn't the cute little ultrasound you see on T.V. or the movies. You know the one where the women lays down and the doctor puts a big glob of lube on her tummy and them places the ultrasound on top and takes a look. this was a transvaginal ultrasound. The type of ultrasound where I was bare from the waist down, legs up in stirrups, and a probe with an ultrasound on the end (covered by a condom) was inserted into my vagina (plus it was $250 a pop [our insurance did not cover fertility treatments 😞]).
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For all you visual people out there, here is a transvaginal probe.

They wanted to make sure my body was primed ad ready to start my cycle. Before leaving the doctors office they scheduled an appointment near the end of my cycle for me to come back in for another ultrasound. I was then instructed to take Clomid for about a week. After about 2ish weeks, I had to take an ovulation test everyday for 3 days. If I received a positive, I was to call the doctors office right away to go in for another lovely ultrasound, of I didn't, I would show up for the ultrasound they scheduled at the beginning and if it didn't look like I was ovulating, I received an hCG injection in the butt. The doctor would then give me what he called "homework", which meant my husband and I need to have sex that night and the following night.

This cycle of ultrasound, Clomid, ultrasound, hCG, homework, continued for another year. I know a lot of couples out there would live to start doing the homework, but I have to tell you, in my experience it became a chore. Sex couldn't be all that spontaneous (my husband wasn't allowed to ejaculate at all a week prior to our homework sessions), because it was so planned out. I started to become really frustrated and couldn't understand how there were so many "oops" babies in the world.

I became bitter at all my friends who one month would tell me they were gong to try for a baby, and the next month telling me the "good news". I really wanted to be happy for them but I actually felt very lonely and dysfunctional. It doesn't matter what you think we are here on this Earth for, but biologically speaking, humans are here to reproduce and here I was not able to do the one thing that should have come so naturally. I felt like less of a women.  That year was a low point for me. It was hard knowing that both my husband and I wanted children so badly, and it was my fault we couldn't have them.

After a year of unsuccessful Clomid attempts, Dr. Fould wanted us to move on to the next phase, Intrauterine insemination (IUI or artificial insemination). Click here to read part 2.